Day 22 - July 24

I've been bad about updating. But I have been trying to keep motivated and keep up my running. Don't believe me {honestly, why would you?} below is my calendar of runs as evidence.

So while not  entirely consistent, I have been trying. And there for a while I thought I might be improving. But if you follow me on Twitter (@agirlandherrun) then you probably saw that yesterday's run was a particularly bad one. Not just bad, as in I didn't accomplish what I wanted, but truly bad, as in I came home, promptly sat on the couch and contemplated just quitting altogether. I told myself lots of lies in those post-run moments - "I'm never going to get past this hurdle" "My body just wasn't made to run" "I simply can't do it". And one point, I really started to believe them.  It doesn't help one's psych either when the scale seems to be moving in the wrong direction {another topic for another day} giving me further reason to just throw in the towel. Then, after a long hot shower to soothe my achy muscles, I did what all logical people do -  found something to distract myself in the laziest way possible - I grabbed a book and curled up in bed.

<< Side note: I'm currently reading "Unbroken" by Laura Hillenbrand. As a dedicated fiction reader, this one is a little out of my normal scope of books, but Ms. Hillenbrand is a phenomenal writer and has crafted this story in such a way, that I literally can't put it down. If you're a reader, or just like history, I would highly recommend this book. >>

So as I'm reading about this amazing story of survival, by no less than a Olympic RUNNER, I realized I'm selling myself short. So I'm taking one step forward and two steps back some days. It happens. Ok - so I managed to only run about 4-5 minutes total over the course of 30 mins, but I covered almost 2 miles. That more that I did last month, heck it's more than I did the day before. That's got to count for something, right? I wrapped up the evening feeling a little less discouraged and resolved I wasn't going to give up just yet.

Then this morning, as we were getting ready for work and chatting, my husband said the smartest, yet simplest thing. In the midst of my lamenting about not being able to do the training, he pointed out that maybe I should just start over. Huh? Start over? Why would I do that?! But as the thought sunk in, I realized that's probably what I should do (or better yet, should have done to begin with).

When I started running on July 3, I wasn't following a programing. I was just running. And that was fine, but I started realizing my results weren't consistent and I felt like I couldn't get past a certain point in my run. At that point, I decided to give the Couch to 5K method a shot.  However, in my cockiness, I opted to start on Week 3 because I could totally do 3 minutes of running no problem {not entirely true, but I wanted to think I could}. However, when the game stepped up and I find myself where I am now, flaming out (somewhat literally, my legs were on fire) at week 4, I realized, it's because I haven't been training for 4 weeks to get my muscles in shape to do the week 4 workouts. Week 3 I did, but just barely. My lung may be working fine, my legs haven't seen this much activity in years. {So maybe I'm not horrible at this running thing after all?!} Just as there's no crying in baseball, there's no cheating in running. You can't jump ahead just because you think you should - believe when I say this, my legs are reminding me of this with every step I take today.

Which means today, I'm starting over. I'm starting with Week 1 Day 1 of C25K. I'm going to forgive myself for whatever "failures" I've convinced myself I've committed, and move forward.  It's humbling really. But I'm hoping starting over will help build up my muscles, but also my confidence. After all, I've got nothing to lose at this point!

Day 8 - July 10

Time to hit the road again.

Six o'clock, once again, came a little too early today.  After yesterday's rest, I was tempted to just turn the alarm off and catch an extra hour of zzz's. But alas, I didn't. {Full Disclosure though - I did hit the snooze button once.} So after an extra 9 minutes of sleep, I drug my sleep butt out of bed and got ready to head out. After my disastrous day 2 days ago, I opted to follow my normal path, in hopes that subconsciously I would push myself past my furthest run. I didn't quite make it, but got close. 7/10 of a mile! Woo Hoo! And thankfully very little pain in my legs.  

Along the way I did get a chance to observe a little cat and mouse game - literally.  It funny what happens when the rest of the world is sleeping.  The cat ultimately lost his breakfast as he became more aware of me, but it was intriguing to watch, none the less. 

Let me just "AMEN" to that one!
Image courtesy of http://thetinyterror.com.

I ended up taking a shorter path than normal too this morning because a) I was still tired and b) since I left out late, I didn't want to risk being late to work. Cut my total run/walk to only a little over mile. Looking back a few hours, I wish I would have pushed myself to do the other mile, but such is life.  There's always tomorrow. Overall, I arrived home fairly positive, if not a little sleep, but in generally good spirits. And then I promptly curled up in bed with my sweet baby boy {who's now 1, and I'm still having trouble grasping that concept} a cuddled for a few more minutes.

Daily Breakdown

Physically: Better than it's been.  I didn't go as far, but I was a little quicker and felt less discomfort in my legs. I did struggle with my breathing some, and need to try to do a little better job focusing on technique (got any tips on this - please share!) and consistency.

Emotionally: Other than being tired, I'd say today was a pretty good day!  I wish I had been able to keep going another 1/10 of a mile, but feeling a little more confident in my ability to do this. I'm definitely coming off my initial excited high that I have when I start a project.  The reality that running and getting to the point where I can actually do a 5K, is going to a very long journey.

Distance: 1.15 miles. Ran .69 mile and walked .46 mile 

Day 7 - July 9

"And on the 7th day God rested." Genesis 2:2-3

After a few days of running, I could tell I was mentally and physically in need of a break.  After consulting with some friends and my husband, we agreed that taking at least 1 day off a week would probably be a good idea.  So I slept in and I must say - throughly enjoyed it.  {I can already tell tomorrow morning isn't going to be as much fun.}

Throughout the day I did a little stretching here and there, but in general I just relaxed. And it was awesome.  Seriously, relaxing is what I want to do {did do, and honestly would do all the time} if it weren't for this pesky thing I did - making a commitment to get healthy.  

And yesterday happened to be my baby's 1st birthday, so good reason to relax I think. :-) Now if only getting started tomorrow would be just as easy.  ::sigh::

Daily Breakdown

Physically: Easiest day so far! But seriously, I was still dealing with some residual pain in my lower legs and ankles, so I did make an effort to walk around at work and stretch them out. Otherwise though, I just relaxed.

Emotionally: Not as good as I thought I'd be.  The extra hour of sleep was wonderful. But all day I have found my thoughts going back to my runs. I swing drastically from being really proud of the progress I've made to being really down about the set backs I experienced.  It's a bit odd.

Distance: 0 miles. 

Day 6 - July 8

Image courtesy of
http://www.fauxrunner.com/motivational-quotes

Ugh....I'm not even sure where to start.  Day 6 was not a great training day.  After a mess up on my part on Day 5 (not running on the actual road) I was still feeling the effect this morning.  As the alarm went off, I opted to stay in bed and let my hip rest a little long.  BAD CALL!

I knew I had to run, for fear that skipping one day "just because" would lead to the slippery slope that is my pattern of starting something and not finishing.  So after work I came home and quickly got my running gear that I had laid out the night before. This is where things went all wrong.  My normal {did you catch that - normal - like I've been doing this for year instead of days HAHA} running gear consists of running/compression leggings and a tank top.  Well on this particular day I had laid out a lovely black ensemble - in hindsight not the smartest move for running in the hottest part of the day. After a quick stretch, I took off on a different route than I normally take. One that includes a large hill.  Thankfully I had planned to tackle the hill on the downside. At first I was pretty pumped up.  Things seemed to be going good. Breathing was steady and my legs were feeling pretty good.  So where's this story go wrong? Well after I sailed down that big hill, I turned the corner to head up a street that I usually run the opposite direction. About 500 feet in, I realized that street was really just an elongated hill and with each step I could feel the heat blazing down on me and my ankles began to burn like I've never felt before. I kept pushing, but eventually the heat got to me and I started to loose my concentration and breathing. At that point I figured I'd just walk it off and then pick up again.  WRONG! That hill that I usually run down, proved to do me in. I tried, but every step felt like white-hot shackles where tightening around my ankles. I managed to make it home {although there was a point where I wasn't sure I could}, exhausted and limping.

When I mapped my run, I only managed to actually run 1/2 mile, less than the day before. That hit me hard. I thought I was doing so well. I thought I was making progress, and then BOOM, backtrack. But after cooling down and thinking it through, I noted my lessons learned {most of these are probably super obvious to anyone who has ever run, but remember I'm a newb at this}:

1. While 5 - 6 PM may be cooler that 2-4 PM, it's still considered the heat of the day, and it's HOT! Trying running early in the morning or later when the sun is setting.
2. Really think through clothing, especially in really hot conditions.  I would have been much better off in a looser top and shorts.
3. Drink a big glass of cold water before leaving to cool down your core. 
4. Extra stretching is a must!

Again, obvious to veterans, but not so much to me.  

Daily Breakdown

Physically: It was hard. The heat, combined with my ankles hurting, made it a really difficult run/walk. However, I am starting to notice my lungs are hurting less and I don't have to think about my breathing as much. That's something.

Emotionally: I'm honestly pretty down about the run. I know I probably contributed by not preparing, and that those factors can have a huge difference, but it was still incredibly frustrating.  I'm trying not to focus on the negative. To remind myself that I can't expect gains every day, and that I'm consistently able to run for 1/2 mile fairly easily now, which is more than I could say a week ago.  And yeah, it's only be 6 days. I'm still my worst critic.

Distance: Only a total of 1.14 miles. Ran .5 mile and walked the rest. Definitely not my best performance. 

So what are your tips for keeping motivated when training doesn't exactly as you planned? I'd love to hear!

Day 5 - July 7

Monday morning came too quickly and rudely started with a startling alarm at 6:00 AM. My inclination was to hit snooze, roll over, and go back to sleep in my warm bed. Despite my intentions, [and a whole bunch of money that was spent to purchase some appropriate running clothes] my sleepy self just wanted to pretend this was a normal day. But this wasn't a normal day. I had made the decision to start this journey, and as a busy mom, running in the morning is the only time where I can 30 minutes to run without worrying about the kids and not spending time with them.

So I turned off my alarm, got dressed, and headed out the door, eating a banana as I started stretching.   When I took off, my only goal was to run as far as I could without pushing myself too hard. I was surprised as I passed the point I stopped at yesterday with relative ease. Then the muscle aches in my calves started. I pushed through the ache for another 3/10 of a mile before my lungs started to burn. I reached the intersection and began walking to steady my heart rate. I wanted to keep going so I pushed my body to start running again but didn't make it nearly as far as yesterday.  This second attempt of running also brought on some pain in my ankle because I had neglected to listen to my husband and ran on the uneven side walk.  Won't be making that mistake again.

I finished out my 2 miles walking home and trying to keep myself thinking positively because all I wanted to do was focus on how I hadn't listen about running on the road, how I was feeling sick, how my ankles were hurting.  That's probably the biggest challenge I'm facing - staying positive before and during my runs. Trying to fight the demon in my head that say I can't.  That say this is just another one of my "projects" that I won't be able to finish. 

Physically: The first mile was much easier and I was able to run the majority of it. The second half was harder. Fighting a sick stomach and fatigue I think made it harder. My plan for tomorrow is to get to bed earlier and allow myself a little more time to wake up before I take off in the morning.

Emotionally: I had a big boost by making it further but then got really low because of unrealistic goals I set for myself. I'm learning that I can't beat myself when I don't make huge gains every day. Small gains are what lead to long-term results and I'm already seeing glimpses of the results.  5 days ago I barely make it 4/10 of a mile. Today I doubled that. Small gains.

Distance: 2 miles - 1 mile ran, 1 mile walk

Day 4 - July 6

I could wax poetically about the joys of running, but honestly, the first 3 days were terrible. My calves ached just moments into the run and I really just concentrated on not over doing it. So that leads me to Day 4.

My mother and sister kept our boys overnight and gave my husband and I some time alone. So of course, I said "Let's go for a run!" My husband is the type that can get up and run a couple of miles, even if he hasn't gone out in months. So we set off and the first quarter of a mile was good. It felt easy. Then my legs started to burn, but I kept pushing. At about the half mile mark, my lungs caught up with my legs and we had to walk.  After a short period of walking my husband convinced me to keep going, so we picked up running and I somehow managed to go another half mile. We walked the rest of the way home, but managed to cover 2 miles. 

Physically: My calves hurt far less in the first 1/2 mile but managed to keep up the whole time without without tremendous burning/pain. Breathing became easier too, but towards the end I was tired and had to concentrate on keeping my breathing even as I settled down post run.

Emotionally: I was thrilled that I'd made it further than the previous day but towards the end of the run/walk had to keep talking myself up. It's easy in the late part of the run (however short it might be in my case) to starting getting down on myself about not being able to run faster or farther.  But at the end of the day, I am running. I am doing something besides sitting on the couch. And so that's what I hold onto.  

Distance: 2 miles total. 1 mile running (6.5 mins & 5 mins), 1 mile walking.

Courtesy of http://www.gettingfitfab.com

I am SO not a Runner

Running has always been something I thought sounded nice, like taking a walk on the beach, or reading a good book with a glass of wine. However, the actual act of running has always scared the crap out of me. Over the last 12+ years I've "tried" running a handful of times. But let me be frank, my "trying" looked more like one hard run around the block lasting all of 6-10 mins [of which I was completely ill-equipped to do] followed by an hour of struggling to breath in between puking. Leading me to swear off running [yet again] for another year or two and happily return to my sedentary life of reality TV show watching.

So to say I'm not a runner would be an understatement. However, as my 30th birthday came and went, the realization that I needed to get in shape became abundantly clear.  With two young, and very active little boys at home, I need to be able to keep up with them. I need to be able to run with them, play with them, basically be the mom they need me to be, without feeling like I am going to pass out.

So for my birthday, my sweet husband gave me the book "Running Like a Girl" by Alexandra Heminsley and an awesome pair of running shoes. If you're new to running or don't think you can do it, I highly recommend Alexandra's book. It's honestly given me the kick in the pants to just get moving.

And so I did.  I randomly ran approximately .4 miles and in all honesty thought I was literally dying right there on my driveway, despite taking it easy it hurt - BAD. My muscles ached, my lungs burned, my head was swimming but I did it. So then, in classic form, I took a day off. But unlike in years past, I tried again. Know what I discovered? The second time wasn't so bad. I made it further before my legs started burning and my lungs started to hurt. I didn't push it. And the third day, even further.

My goal is simple. To get in shape and be able to run a 5K. It's not a grand plan. Nothing earth shattering, but it's a start.  And this blog is here more to help me remember this journey. So join me, won't you?